Travelling solo

Dear Netherlands,

As I have done a bit of solo travelling in the last week, I wrote a speech for my Public Speaking Programme about it and also took it as a template for this week's column on "Vox" ( http://voxweb.nl/blog/travelling-solo ).

I realized it when I was on holiday in England with a friend. He wanted to lie on the beach while I wanted to visit an old castle. After our argument he went to the beach but for me it was too late to visit the castle that day what I later regretted.
So in order to not regret missed chances anymore, I discovered travelling solo. There are three steps to the process.

Firstly, it’s the loneliness people are afraid of. You will most definitely feel lonely some time. You will see things that will remind you of a person or you would like to show to him or her. Yet, having fascination for a place only for yourself will make you delve deeper, slow down, look around, notice different things. It’s easier to get absorbed in an unfamiliar landscape when solo, reliant on no one and vice versa.
And when a pang of loneliness hits you, be reminded you have someone to engage with: yourself.
Furthermore, on your own you are more likely to have chance encounters with strangers.

Secondly, after loneliness comes lightness: Freedom. The place is there, ready for you to discover. Your choices count because they are yours and you decide what to get from the day. You can’t blame anyone – but the weather. This will make you stop complaining and accept situations as they are. You are free, to contemplate than converse. Free, to only to meet your own expectations and no one elses.

The third step is discovery by and of yourself. On your own, you can go and explore at your own pace. You have more time and can tailor your trip to your desires. There will be no hour long searches for the right place to dine, you simply pick the one you like without arguing. You can take detours. You can just sit down for a while and take in your surroundings.  
By engaging with the surroundings instead of a travel partner, you get to know yourself better, what you like, what you are capable of.

So: Get lost and share these trips only with yourself.  

I realized that I could and should have gone to that castle on my own back then. Even if we were on the trip together, I was still responsible for myself.

Yet, I have to admit that after some time it can get really lonely. Of course it depends on the type of person you are. I would recommend travelling solo to everyone, just for the experience, at least once. Furthermore, how you experience a place or a city also depends on the mood your are in and - not to neglect - the weather.

Love,

Jane