Random Thoughts

Dear Netherlands,


On Tuesday we had a flatmate dinner. For me it was like a 'National Geography Study' (like my Czech flatmate called it) to observe students in their 'natural environment (=student dorm), though it is debatable how natural and 'national' the setting is for international students. Nonetheless I gained many insights from listening to my flatmates, what they talk about, how they talk. What is important for them. If they are happy. What makes them happy. For example: not to regret decisions. Carpe diem - to enjoy everyday and make the best out of it. We talked about different lifestyles and different attitudes towards life. If we value morality highly or not.
Personally, I feel like I am in a constant struggle between morality and 'letting go'. Trying something new or not trying it. Perhaps I would like it if I tried something new. Perhaps I won't. My moral principles sometimes keep me from trying something new. Is it bad that they restrict me? Or is morality - generally - going down the drain and I should hold on to my principles?


Socialising with Dutch people is not easy when you do not speak the language. I know a few (or more) Dutch words and quite often understand what the Dutch say to me, but when answering I switch to English. I experience it as tricky to get to know people here apart from the international students. I asked another German guy (who has been living here for 3 years now) if he also had troubles getting to know the Dutch. He said: "Haha, no, my girlfriend is Dutch! But of course it is hard for you if you do not speak the language. This is indeed a barrier which is not overcome easily when you are only here for a few months." ... I had the feeling that he implied that I should not have come here if I could not speak the language...
They offer you a proper brain training here: constantly switching between English, German and Dutch.


I have the impression I am a different person when I speak English instead of German. Any other language but my native one.
It is interesting to think about the fact that people judge and advise you on the basis of what they know about you. It can be difficult to convey the genuine meaning and your genuine personality when you cannot use your native language to explain it, even if you have a decent command of the other language. Other people will never get a holistic picture or view of your personality/character. How can they advise you properly if they cannot know you wholly? Is another person able to tell you what is right or wrong for you? Friends can reflect, mirror, tell you how you 'usually' do things. But is it true?


I feel a bit like Descartes, who said that the answers to all our questions can be found within ourselves. We just needed a quiet room and a rational mind. He travelled, met a lot of people of different tempers, gathered various experiences, tested himself in different situations and at all times reflected personally upon whatever came his way so as to derive some profit from it.
After each enounter I myself always try to reflect upon how it could benefit me personally. 'Cogito ergo sum. This sentence signals a commitment to working through emotional confusion, prejudice and unhelpful tradition in order to arrive at an independent, rationally founded vision of existence.'
Merci beaucoup. Gotta work on that.


Tot ziens!
Jane