Sober again

Dear Netherlands,


The title might be misleading but instead of going to a party tonight I am staying at home, writing this blog entry and reading countless texts for uni. Uni has me in its claws again.
Bye, careless Erasmus life full of friends and fun! No, seriously, that's why I chose this title: Last week seemed like a dream. Yesterday was the day that brought me down from my high cloud.


During the introduction lecture last week they said that being an international student is like riding on a rollercoaster: you experience ups and downs. When you're feeling high, it gets downhill too soon again, and when you're feeling low, it gets uphill soon enough.
This is perfectly accurate.

The teaching here is quite different from what I am used to in Germany. The lecturers demand a great deal from their students - they demand a lot, but they also give a lot. Yesterday I had a great lecture on Political Communication. The lecturer was energetic, dynamic. Apart from randomly picking students to answer his questions to iniate our thinking and actively following his thoughts, he also did a quiz were the students could participate directly. Last week in the intro lecture they also already did a quiz where the students were asked to participate with their electronic devices.
I enjoyed the Political Communication lecture very much. I loved how the students were asked to think actively while following the class, express criticism, state counter-arguments, develop own ideas. I experienced the lecture as invigorating, as interactive and much more 'practical'.
The lecturer stated repeatedly that we were third year students and therefore encouraged to apply our knowledge.
Not only in this one but also in my other two classes I was stunned by the amount of reading we have to do for each lecture (lectures several times a week, not only once a week like in Germany) and even more reading for the tutorials. And then again I learned that they value interaction highly here: in the Political Communication class we will have to write a strategy paper as a group and fight our own electoral campaign in class. In the Democratisation lecture we will have a 'Democracy-table'. In the Theories of International Relations lecture we will do a mini-Model United Nations Session. Applied knowledge. The lecture style in the Netherlands seems more active, compared to Germany where I experience it as much more passive and where the students seem to have less opportunities to apply their knowledge.
Also in Germany, students seem to stick to pen and paper more, whereas in the Netherlands the rows in the lecture halls are sometimes even equipped with sockets and the Dutch students use their laptops or notebooks instead of paper sheets.
I talked to my International Relations lecturer today who used to teach in Hannover for a long time and was called to Nijmegen last October. She also stated the same differences like I did between the two systems and said that she preferred the Dutch way more which resembles the way they do it in America.


The motto of the Radboud Uni is 'change perspective.' And after only two days of classes I can feel that my thinking is about to change and will be changed tremendously in the course of the next five months.
Our Political Communication lecturer promised us that after his course we will never look at media ever again the same way. I am certain we won't do that.
Since I am here my thinking has been inspired and altered every day. My perspective is constantly being challenged and changed due to the many insights I get from talking to peers, exchanging thoughts with new friends, reading, listening to the lecturers.

For my stay here I wished to raise my awareness. I reckon it has already started.


I am sober again since I have arrived on the ground again - on uni grounds. And this is exactly what I asked for.



Since today I am officially a citizen of Nijmegen. My Italian friend and I registered at the 'Stadswinkel' this morning but we did not have time to feel accomplished afterwards since we had to rush to uni to be on time for the first class.
We were not on time. From the city centre it's ususally only ten minutes to uni. But since I followed the Italian we were half an hour late for our classes... In the meantime we discovered new pretty areas of Nijmegen... I would not say we got lost completely, we just took the wrong turn at one of the many roundabouts in Nijmegen and well, took the scenic route...
I guess I'll do that more often: take the scenic route.


I'm off to my uni texts and a good cup of tea.


Love,


Jane

Sunny Saturday

Dear Netherlands,


In my last post I praised the Dutch car drivers being so considerate towards cyclicsts. That still holds true, yet local Dutch cyclists are not considerate towards foreign cyclists who are trying to find their way with Google Maps, being distracted by pretty shop windows, lovely sights or buildings, or struggling with getting their bike started at traffic lights. All this describes: Me.
They yell at these foreigners, shake their heads and overtake with an intimidatingly high speed. Equally impolite are 'bromfiets' which are allowed to ride on the 'fietspad' as well - unfortunately.


Today I had a lovely Saturday - a proper, much needed  Saturday. I went to the market with an Italian and a Dutch friend and was amazed by the freshness, variety and quality of the products. It was wonderful to touch the vegetables and smell the food. The Dutch Girl and I left the Italian guy at the fish stall and dived into the fruit and vegetable tent. After a while the Dutch 'verkoopster' aproached me and let lose a flood of words. I am constantly trying to tune my ear and am progressing in understanding the Dutch and answer with a few easy words. But this time I was not able not understand a single word - probably because of the verkoopster's thick accent. I said 'sorry, I do not understand, I am not from here, unfortunately' and tried to sneak away. A second later I heard him yell 'Niet weglopen!'. I understood this and turned on my heel. He kept on talking and waved tangerines in front of my eyes. I looked at my Dutch friend and saw her smirking.
We finally got away and I asked her what the verkoopster tried to tell me. She said that he said that if I also run away from boys I will never find a boyfriend. I was gobsmacked. He knew nothing at all about my private life and it was none of his business!
Besides, I always presuppose that the Dutch speak English. Yes, it is true, most of them do. But I somehow find it rude to approach someone in a language which is not the language of the country. In English-speaking countries it would obviously be perfectly alright to address the locals in English. Here I always feel sorry when I cause confused looks on faces who try to switch languages quickly.
On Wednesday we had a rally in the city centre to ask locals to translate Nijmeegse slang words. My group voted for me to be the speaker so I adressed passersby by saying 'Excuse me, do you speak English? ('Yes') Are you a local? ('Yes') We are international students and we...". So I always tried to make sure not to be rude by simply letting lose a flood of words in English.




After the interesting incident on the market the Italian friend and I went on exploring the beautiful town of Nijmegen. I was so excited when I found the tea shop I fell in love with in The Hague four years ago on Lange Hezelstraat in Nijmegen. I immediately stopped my bike in front of it and dragged my friend inside to buy a very special tea. There are so many interesting and beautiful shops in Nijmegen - luckily I have a rather limited budget! :'D
In the afternoon I met up with German friends who study in Groningen. It was a coincidence that they were in Nijmegen this weekend, they had planned their trip unaware of the fact that I moved here on Monday. We ate delicious 'pannenkoeken' at a pannenkoeken huis and afterwards walked along the Waal river shore. It reminded us of Hamburg and we enjoyed the sunshine, the water, the boats and the 'wobbly bridge'.

 It really is wobbly!

 Waal

 Boats

 Waal bridge

My beautiful Dutch bike in front of a beautiful shop in beautiful Nijmegen

Thank you for today, Nijmegen!

Yesterday I saw a sticker in one of the university buildings saying 'Don't hurry, be happy'. That sums my motto up. I have to admit that I have become a lot calmer over the last days. I do not panic easily anymore. I am the one who knows her way around and shows the others. I am the one who says 'Everything will be alright' and always stays optimistic. Of course I used to say this before my time here as well, but now I say it with certainty. Maybe just because I am lucky and everything has turned out so well for me in the past days. Perhaps my attitude will change but for the moment I am really happy here. I might say this with the initial enthusiasm, but why not.

I have always been of the opinion that I can only be truly happy at the 'right place' for me. Even if I had never been aware of this 'right, perfect place' and if it exists at all. Like I said in one of my last posts: somwehere it might always be better, we might miss something. I thought I could only be truly happy somewhere in Great Britain (since in my opinion it is such a perfectly beautiful country).

I have to say, I have been welcomed in Nijmegen with open arms and with people who only want the best for other people. People who are present in the place where they are and who focus on the people they are there with.

"Wherever you go - there you are." Ö.T.

I genuinely practice mindfulness here. 

Love, Jane

Welkom in Nijmegen

Dear Netherlands,


I am here, finally. I feel a little Dutch already when cruising through the city on my bike! ;)
My first impression is great: warm, welcoming people, a cute little town, highly modern university, comfortable student dorm and a beautiful Dutch bike which is much needed here.
The first day I had to rely on the bus which was rather inconvenient but on the second day I already had the chance to buy a bike - and now I don't like arriving at destinations anymore because arriving means getting off my 'fiets'! I also appreciate how the Dutch car drivers treat 'fietsers': with respect and care. Not like in Germany where the cyclists are always inferior to any other traffic participant.



I am spending the first days with a group of international students and our awesome mentors.
It is great getting to know so many people with different backgrounds all having one aim - attending the university of life here in the Netherlands.


Our Dutch instructor told us today that grumpiness makes the Dutch happy - in the Nijmeegse slang they also have a special word for it: nuilen. 'Nuilen' means complaining, whining.
To be honest, I do not have the time or the nerve to 'nuilen' - I am solely responsible for every action I do here and this is a wonderful feeling.
Our instructor of the Nijmegen School of Management also told us that the university has a special programme where the staff can exchange holidays for a bike to ride to work  - can it get even more Dutch??


The last few days have already been an enriching experience and I am looking forward to what you have in store for me, Netherlands.


Ja, ik vind het leuk hier!


Love,


Jane

Late Night Talks in Hannover

Dear Netherlands (pronounced with a schwa in '-lands' - thanks, Darren!),

A few days ago I had a wonderful late night talk with a very dear friend who is currently spending her Erasmus semester in Glasgow.
She told me about the people she had already met during the two weeks she has spent in Scotland so far - the positive and negative encounters likewise. She shared her insight with me that people change when they surround themselves with other people they adapt to their new 'friends'. And that people from different cultures within their own culture share similar character traits.
During a semester abroad we meet so many new people who give us countless opportunities to build new friendships - or decide against doing so.
There will always be new people in our lives. And when things get difficult in a friendship, it is easy to walk away.
But would it not be more beautiful if people would really make the effort to relate to each other? To give people chances. And not to judge – not their behavior, attitudes, looks, but let them be and come to terms with it. We cannot and we should never try to change other people, we can only change our personal attitudes. Of course we should walk away when we notice that people are not good for us.
It is human to care about each other. Is it not touching when people decide to open up to each other and not to keep it at distance? Is this not what defines friendships and relationships? When people appreciate each other – for the simplest of things. When people interact.
Regarding personal encounters, it is wonderful when we leave kindness. When we end conversations on a kind note because we never know when we will see the people again.
Personally, I compare myself with other people too often. I want to stop that because it does not feel healthy. I feel like I have lost myself a bit.


Open up to people. Enjoy faces, words, Encounters, stories. Capture them in your mind.
Enjoy nature. Listen. Watch. Look up.
Be kind. Be aware.


The endless possibilities of old friends being replaced by new friends tend to fall short of something: humanity. Genuine humanity in its deepest sense. 
When we open up to people we will discover new facets, even in our long-term friends. When we exchange moral and value concepts. we will learn.

My friend sad that we actually have too many choices. Every day we stand in front of a giant buffet of friendships, relationships, opportunities in jobs and in our leisure time. Yet, nothing feels ever perfect. Nothing seems enough. We do not focus on one meal and digest it properly. We do not let our senses participate since we are always distracted. Somewhere else it might be better. What does ‘better’ mean, though? The consequence is that we feel overwhelmed. Is that not a signal from our bodies that we (or better: our mind) are not able to keep up with the speed? Or perhaps our bodies simply have to learn to adjust? How do we know?

My friend and I expressed our wishes and goals.
Our wishes are to practice awareness and conscience – of what surrounds us, what happens to us, how we feel about it and how we deal with it. I am aware that I am currently writing a blog, but we should nonetheless shift our focus away from social media back to real life. It is practical to use social media to stay in contact with our friends and family while we are away. And yet we can still control our use of it and the time we spend on social media. On Instagram we can decide which picture we find worthy enough to share – to share a moment that means something to us instead of the next selfie. We want to try to be more ‘analogue’. More in the now.

My personal goals for my time in your country, Netherlands, are to learn resilience, to slow down, to listen to my body, develop more inner strength, to always be grateful, to gain more self-confidence. To watch others and learn from them. Not to judge people (easily). To let moments happen - positive and negative ones. To give more. To need less. To share more humanity.
All written down in my 'Little Book for Big Ideas' my friend gave me.

Yet, ‘goals’ sounds so economic. Does an Erasmsus semester have to have a purpose? A benefit? Does it have to be useful? It most certainly is. But does it have to be 'economised'? Do I have to have goals and reach them? Otherwise I will have failed?
Later, in my CV, will it show that I have applied my knowledge? I hope my Erasmus semester makes sense. To be honest, I have no doubt about that it won’t.
At this time of life, we are in the process of self-discovery. As Albert Camus put it: “Travel brings us back to ourselves.”


Does every action have to have a purpose? A purpose that hones our CV? I would be glad about a personal purpose, to learn. And I do not want to force it but let it happen.
We plan our lives, we plan our actions on the fact that they might look good on our CV and we even plan our well-being. When and how did that happen?

My friend and I expressed the wish to slow down. The question arises: why do we regret being so erratic and inconsistent? Something makes us regrets this behavior and inspires our re-thinking.
Is it social expectations – where do they come from anyway? Who defines them? Individuals as a collective. Where do these individuals gain their expectations from?

And how do we escape the dilemma? Slow down ourselves? Will we be thrown back? Or shall we dare to make the start?
Why do we feel the need to focus back on humanity, slowness and genuine perception? Because we do not feel satisfied, fulfilled? Not ‘full’?

At the moment I am convinced that anything is possible in a society – especially with regard to the current political events.

Life feels to have become ‘random’. I turn 22 today. And when I think about the time between having finished school and now, I notice that I do not really know what has happened. I have to think about it for a while because it is just so much that happened in a comparatively short time span. I notice that I have no real feeling for time. It feels fluid and not tangible.

My friend asked: when did we stop dreaming and living and to let live?
This is a good note to finish this post on.

As a life advice: indulge. With all your senses. Get out of your comfort zone. Get out there!

Goodbye, Hannover! Thank you.
See you tomorrow, Netherlands!

Love,

Jane

“What gives value to travel is fear. It is the fact that, at a certain moment, when we are so far from our own country…we are seized by a vague fear, and an instinctive desire to go back to the protection of old habits. This is the most obvious benefit of travel. At that moment we are feverish but also porous, so that the slightest touch makes us quiver to the depths of our being. We come across a cascade of light, and there is eternity. This is why we should not say that we travel for pleasure. There is no pleasure in traveling, and I look upon it more as an occasion for spiritual testing. If we understand by culture the exercise of our most intimate sense — that of eternity — then we travel for culture. Pleasure takes us away from ourselves in the same way as distraction, in Pascal’s use of the word, takes us away from God. Travel, which is like a greater and graver science, brings us back to ourselves.
–Albert Camus, Notebooks 1935-1942 (1991)

                                                                                                  Motivation

                                                        Linden, Hannover sunset

Before

Dear Netherlands,


just one week to go before I start my Erasmus semester in Nijmegen.
Whenever I tell people that I (as a German in close proximity to your country) am going to study in your country for half a year, I receive mixed reactions. Some people say "Oh, that's fantastic! I love the Netherlands! I want to study there myself", some people say "The Netherlands?? That's almost Germany! But I assume it is also nice". Yes, also nice.
I try not to have too high expectations since that proved me wrong in the past.
Before my stay in England in 2013 (www.german-by-birth-british-in-the-heart.blogspot.com) I had very high expectations, since I was so in love with this country - and still am. Even if my experiences there did not quite meet my expectations and sent me back to Germany a tad disillusioned. I had a lovely time there, especially at the beginning, but I was not as happy as I imagined I would be. Yet, my time there helped me grow and shape my personality immensely. I am very grateful for that and will always return to the small coastal town particularly and the beautiful country generally.

When the opportunity arose at my university to apply for an Erasmus semester, my first preference was Glasgow, UK, and to be honest, only my second was you, Netherlands - to be precise: Nijmegen, NL. In the application process it was already clear that they preferred to send me to you, since there were so many applicants for Scotland.
Since my visits in beautiful The Hague in 2013 I seriously considered studying in your country since everything appealed to me so much.
And then again, I had always dreamed of studying at a traditional British University, too. I didn't start with either, but decided to study in my German hometown first.
Now I try to see it as my 'destiny' that I am sent to Nijmegen for my Erasmus and am determined to make the best out of it. After all, I do love you, Netherlands, as well!


I am very much looking forward to my time and want to be open-minded, non-judgemental and want to be surprised. I strongly intend to savour my life in your country - and soak everything up like a sponge.


Whenever people answer to my statement about spending my Erasmus semster in your country slightly negatively or disbelieving, rest assured that I still know why I want to study in your country: because of your beautiful countryside, your open-minded, progressive, innovative and kind people, your good university reputations, the splendid architecture of your cities, your lifestyle, your relationship with nature and the sea and your fantastic music.




See you soon!



Yours,


Jane