Late Night Talks in Hannover

Dear Netherlands (pronounced with a schwa in '-lands' - thanks, Darren!),

A few days ago I had a wonderful late night talk with a very dear friend who is currently spending her Erasmus semester in Glasgow.
She told me about the people she had already met during the two weeks she has spent in Scotland so far - the positive and negative encounters likewise. She shared her insight with me that people change when they surround themselves with other people they adapt to their new 'friends'. And that people from different cultures within their own culture share similar character traits.
During a semester abroad we meet so many new people who give us countless opportunities to build new friendships - or decide against doing so.
There will always be new people in our lives. And when things get difficult in a friendship, it is easy to walk away.
But would it not be more beautiful if people would really make the effort to relate to each other? To give people chances. And not to judge – not their behavior, attitudes, looks, but let them be and come to terms with it. We cannot and we should never try to change other people, we can only change our personal attitudes. Of course we should walk away when we notice that people are not good for us.
It is human to care about each other. Is it not touching when people decide to open up to each other and not to keep it at distance? Is this not what defines friendships and relationships? When people appreciate each other – for the simplest of things. When people interact.
Regarding personal encounters, it is wonderful when we leave kindness. When we end conversations on a kind note because we never know when we will see the people again.
Personally, I compare myself with other people too often. I want to stop that because it does not feel healthy. I feel like I have lost myself a bit.


Open up to people. Enjoy faces, words, Encounters, stories. Capture them in your mind.
Enjoy nature. Listen. Watch. Look up.
Be kind. Be aware.


The endless possibilities of old friends being replaced by new friends tend to fall short of something: humanity. Genuine humanity in its deepest sense. 
When we open up to people we will discover new facets, even in our long-term friends. When we exchange moral and value concepts. we will learn.

My friend sad that we actually have too many choices. Every day we stand in front of a giant buffet of friendships, relationships, opportunities in jobs and in our leisure time. Yet, nothing feels ever perfect. Nothing seems enough. We do not focus on one meal and digest it properly. We do not let our senses participate since we are always distracted. Somewhere else it might be better. What does ‘better’ mean, though? The consequence is that we feel overwhelmed. Is that not a signal from our bodies that we (or better: our mind) are not able to keep up with the speed? Or perhaps our bodies simply have to learn to adjust? How do we know?

My friend and I expressed our wishes and goals.
Our wishes are to practice awareness and conscience – of what surrounds us, what happens to us, how we feel about it and how we deal with it. I am aware that I am currently writing a blog, but we should nonetheless shift our focus away from social media back to real life. It is practical to use social media to stay in contact with our friends and family while we are away. And yet we can still control our use of it and the time we spend on social media. On Instagram we can decide which picture we find worthy enough to share – to share a moment that means something to us instead of the next selfie. We want to try to be more ‘analogue’. More in the now.

My personal goals for my time in your country, Netherlands, are to learn resilience, to slow down, to listen to my body, develop more inner strength, to always be grateful, to gain more self-confidence. To watch others and learn from them. Not to judge people (easily). To let moments happen - positive and negative ones. To give more. To need less. To share more humanity.
All written down in my 'Little Book for Big Ideas' my friend gave me.

Yet, ‘goals’ sounds so economic. Does an Erasmsus semester have to have a purpose? A benefit? Does it have to be useful? It most certainly is. But does it have to be 'economised'? Do I have to have goals and reach them? Otherwise I will have failed?
Later, in my CV, will it show that I have applied my knowledge? I hope my Erasmus semester makes sense. To be honest, I have no doubt about that it won’t.
At this time of life, we are in the process of self-discovery. As Albert Camus put it: “Travel brings us back to ourselves.”


Does every action have to have a purpose? A purpose that hones our CV? I would be glad about a personal purpose, to learn. And I do not want to force it but let it happen.
We plan our lives, we plan our actions on the fact that they might look good on our CV and we even plan our well-being. When and how did that happen?

My friend and I expressed the wish to slow down. The question arises: why do we regret being so erratic and inconsistent? Something makes us regrets this behavior and inspires our re-thinking.
Is it social expectations – where do they come from anyway? Who defines them? Individuals as a collective. Where do these individuals gain their expectations from?

And how do we escape the dilemma? Slow down ourselves? Will we be thrown back? Or shall we dare to make the start?
Why do we feel the need to focus back on humanity, slowness and genuine perception? Because we do not feel satisfied, fulfilled? Not ‘full’?

At the moment I am convinced that anything is possible in a society – especially with regard to the current political events.

Life feels to have become ‘random’. I turn 22 today. And when I think about the time between having finished school and now, I notice that I do not really know what has happened. I have to think about it for a while because it is just so much that happened in a comparatively short time span. I notice that I have no real feeling for time. It feels fluid and not tangible.

My friend asked: when did we stop dreaming and living and to let live?
This is a good note to finish this post on.

As a life advice: indulge. With all your senses. Get out of your comfort zone. Get out there!

Goodbye, Hannover! Thank you.
See you tomorrow, Netherlands!

Love,

Jane

“What gives value to travel is fear. It is the fact that, at a certain moment, when we are so far from our own country…we are seized by a vague fear, and an instinctive desire to go back to the protection of old habits. This is the most obvious benefit of travel. At that moment we are feverish but also porous, so that the slightest touch makes us quiver to the depths of our being. We come across a cascade of light, and there is eternity. This is why we should not say that we travel for pleasure. There is no pleasure in traveling, and I look upon it more as an occasion for spiritual testing. If we understand by culture the exercise of our most intimate sense — that of eternity — then we travel for culture. Pleasure takes us away from ourselves in the same way as distraction, in Pascal’s use of the word, takes us away from God. Travel, which is like a greater and graver science, brings us back to ourselves.
–Albert Camus, Notebooks 1935-1942 (1991)

                                                                                                  Motivation

                                                        Linden, Hannover sunset